{"id":5904,"date":"2020-03-05T22:27:25","date_gmt":"2020-03-05T16:42:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/?p=5904"},"modified":"2020-03-05T23:03:19","modified_gmt":"2020-03-05T17:18:19","slug":"baini-maa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/2020\/03\/05\/baini-maa\/","title":{"rendered":"Baini Maa"},"content":{"rendered":"<span class=\"rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\">2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube aligncenter wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Joshua Moss - House (Lyrics in CC)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gg_6s5Pwcc8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>Joshua Moss &#8211; House&nbsp;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-text-align-center is-style-large\"><p>\u201cIt is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.\u201d<\/p><cite><strong>Marcus Aurelius,\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/work\/quotes\/31010\">Meditations<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"2053\" height=\"1540\" src=\"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5907\" srcset=\"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669.jpg 2053w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669-1024x768.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669-768x576.jpg 768w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_7669-2048x1536.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2053px) 100vw, 2053px\" \/><figcaption><em><strong>From left, my grandma, Reebhusha and Baini Maa.<\/strong><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mum<\/strong> <em>(clearing tears off of her weeping eyes)<\/em>: It was slow and utterly painful death for her. I wish nobody has to go through such ordeals in their life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Grandma <\/strong>(<em>staring at a lifeless body of her sister<\/em>): Someday, it will be my turn. **Sobs uncontrollably **<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:13px\"><em>[ Evidently naked. Magnified. All I see is an unfathomable <strong>love, the pain <\/strong>and the emptiness. I can also feel fear, as i sat beside her, holding her cold, wrinkled, soft hands. ]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Uncle:<\/strong> This is life. ~Breathes deeply~<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Dad:<\/strong> Silent. Unmoving, mostly. Perhaps contemplating life &amp; death in his own head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:13px\"><em>[ Hard to tell ]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sriraj <\/strong><em>(Baini maa&#8217;s grand child)<\/em><strong>:<\/strong> Quiet. Present. Hurt. Loved. Unloved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>At Pashupati temple (A holy place for all the hindus in Nepal. Also, a well-renowned crematory site situated at Kathmandu). I watched. Listened. Existed, <strong>deliberately! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I see &#8212; honest tears! Torn hearts! Fucking pretentious despair too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Tired<\/strong>. Despite, tried self-reflection; at accounts and inventories of my own life. Of people I consider my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Bahini maa <\/strong>(<em>Grandma&#8217;s sister<\/em>) passed away today around 3AM in the morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She died of cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And, of all the many reasons, my heart wanted to blame it for her smoking habit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:13px\"><em>[ I would never know ] <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1923\" height=\"1442\" src=\"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5908\" srcset=\"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418.jpg 1923w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418-1024x768.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418-768x576.jpg 768w, http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/IMG_9418-1536x1152.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1923px) 100vw, 1923px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Two things.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First. Not that I smoke but I promised mum and dad infront of Baini maa&#8217;s burning self that no matter what, I&#8217;ll never, NEVER do cigarettes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second. I promised myself, &#8230; again, &#8230; that I&#8217;ll not take anything, anyday, anyone for granted, not even myself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-very-dark-gray-background-color has-very-dark-gray-color is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>p.s. Lastly, I will forever have an enormous gratitude and respect for <strong>&#8216;Sirraj&#8217;s&#8217;<\/strong> applaudable hard work, contribution and heart and companionship and patience to be with Baini maa foot-on-foot, in her final days. Not days actually, but year<strong>s<\/strong> and <strong>years<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whence, learned pure form of selflessness from him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>p.p.s. Ironically, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=L6l6xBVH6j0\">[In the memory of Baini maa ]<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:50px\">Memento<strong>mori<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\">2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span> \u201cIt is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.\u201d Marcus Aurelius,\u00a0Meditations Mum (clearing tears off of her&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/2020\/03\/05\/baini-maa\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Baini Maa<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[89],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5904"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5904"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5904\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5930,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5904\/revisions\/5930"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}