{"id":2036,"date":"2017-07-02T22:51:37","date_gmt":"2017-07-02T17:06:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/?p=2036"},"modified":"2017-07-04T21:47:43","modified_gmt":"2017-07-04T16:02:43","slug":"drowned-in-my-own-beseeched-voice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/2017\/07\/02\/drowned-in-my-own-beseeched-voice\/","title":{"rendered":"Drowned in my own beseeched voice."},"content":{"rendered":"<span class=\"rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\">2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span><h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Sol LeWitt to Eva Hesse &#8211; Read by Benedict Cumberbatch<\/h2>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VnSMIgsPj5M?ecver=1\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n<strong>Halfway<\/strong> through the year of 2017.<\/p>\n<p>What an amazing <strong style=\"font-size: 3.2rem; color: #c60000;\">182 days<\/strong> of every day.<\/p>\n<p>On this occasion,\u00a0allow me\u00a0to reveal\u00a0one secret story behind my continuous vent and friendship with this\u00a0blog.<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It all started with a loss, the loss of home, the loss of heart<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>After an unexpected, terrible breakup, I\u00a0needed the most sensible way to stop crying those meaningless, abdominal tears. I needed to re-learn the faculty of love, laughter, and living once again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I needed a pious, plain, precarious, precious perspective of what had happened, why it happened when it happened. But mostly, I needed to decide where would I let it drift me &#8212; to the shore for the next big adventure\u00a0or rather settle in for\u00a0<\/strong><strong>that one easy resort, that mighty, the tiny, the tight trash corner.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As words talked to me, as they slowly fill in my notebook, pages after pages &#8212; I reckon my luggage, the pain, the larva of rubbish ideas, once pulling, plummeting, penetrating\u00a0me had\u00a0<strong>turned<\/strong>\u00a0lighter, a least pain-in-the-butt hole, a water\u00a0<strong>liquid<\/strong> slipping off from me. Words rescued my feeble lost self with grace, gratification, and an astounding generosity.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center; font-size: 3.6rem;\">Writing <strong>saved<\/strong> me!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Honestly, I don&#8217;t care if my grammar, the words, sentences, plots are imperfect. I never cared about likes and comments. I never really cared if someone read what I wrote; cursed, agreed, disagreed, validated, whatever. All I wanted was to save myself from my own thoughts. Except for that I didn&#8217;t care anything a darn dime.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center; font-size: 3.6rem;\"><strong> I am,&#8230; I was so drowned in my own beseech-ed, belittled, beloved, riveted, ragged, and the real voice.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And, still, I am so sorry because I want to be here for myself, only myself and very selfishly, mostly because for the moment no one dares, cares and only rare will..<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Looking back, today I am proud of myself and know and feel and comprehend and reassure and digest that I have gained so so much from that gigantic, pity <strong>loss.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As <strong>Sol LeWitt<\/strong>\u00a0(September 9, 1928\u2013April 8, 2007) offers in a spectacular 1965 letter to the trailblazing sculptor Eva Hesse.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center; background: #FFDB00; color: #191919; font-size: 4.1rem;\"><strong>\u201cYou belong in the most secret part of you. Don\u2019t worry about cool, make your own uncool.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>I am fine with my <\/strong>ferreting, freckling <strong>impulse.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>p.s. an unsolicited advice &#8212; let&#8217;s all be fine with our each other&#8217;s unique self.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Let us all save ourself first before anything, anyone else.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\">2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span> Sol LeWitt to Eva Hesse &#8211; Read by Benedict Cumberbatch Halfway through the year of 2017. What an amazing 182 days of every day. On&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/2017\/07\/02\/drowned-in-my-own-beseeched-voice\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Drowned in my own beseeched voice.<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2036"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2090,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036\/revisions\/2090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bijays.com.np\/musicpervs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}